Back to the grind.

June 24th I returned to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave. One thing I can say for sure is that I feel a hell of a lot older than I did when I left for maternity leave. My feet are sore and my knees hurt and I am hitting the sack by 8:00 as often as possible. My body feels like it aged 5 years after giving birth! Despite the physical ailments though, I must say it is nice to be around other adults for at least a certain portion of the day. I certainly learned to appreciate conversation with friends while I was here at the house. Luckily I had a fairly straightforward and manageable week at work and lots of support from my coworkers. Here's hoping next week just gets better!!

Glamour Mom

I knew when I had Lillian that there would be a lot of work involved. I knew she would wake up at night and that she would require a lot of attention. I had been told that my life would never be the same and I was aware of the truth related to this statement. However, one thing can be said that should be taken into consideration. Thinking that you know and actually experiencing are two entirely different things.
Actually experiencing functioning off of four hours of sleep on a consistent basis, or being puked on, or constantly washing bottles (and I mean constantly. The bottle washing never ends), or looking at the stretch marks on your stomach and knowing they will never go away, these things are quite different when they are lived than when they are told. I find myself wondering how am I to feel glamorous or attractive when somehow I've turned into the mommy machine. I find myself with my hair piled on top of my head in a ponytail with no makeup on and my sink full of bottles and my laundry room buried in towels, burp cloths, and baby outfits that have been spit up on them.
We've all seen the designer moms on tv that have the perfect bodies two weeks after delivering their babies, and they somehow never seem to have spit up on them, and they most certainly aren't wearing their hair in ponytails and going without makeup. These women seem to morph into hotter versions of themselves after having children. All I have to say is it must take a village.
I guess I'm not the glamour mom I had hoped I would become after having my daughter, but another thing that is entirely different when it is lived than when its told is experiencing the joy that she brings to my life. I don't always get to get a shower when I want one and I'll probably have an audience in the bathroom for the next couple of years. I'll probably never get rid of these stretch marks or ever have a flat belly ever again, but when I hold my daughter in my arms and feel her snuggle up to me I know that it's all ok. I'm special to her and that's by far a more rewarding feeling than any I've ever felt. So I can go to sleep at night and rest easily knowing that I've been blessed enough to be married to a wonderful man that somehow sees past my mommy machine persona to the woman he married, I have a daughter that thinks I'm the best ever, I've got two loyal pets that will protect me from anything, and my family is always there for me. Let them have the designer clothes and super nannies. I'll take my lot anyday.

Change

So I was thinking last night about the fact that I'm blogging again after three years and I started to think of how much my life has changed after three years. It's mind boggling to think about how many major life events that have occurred in those three years. As I reflected on all the things that have occurred I thought I would use this blog as a forum to share how much my life has changed. Feel free to comment on how your lives have changed over 3 years, or add to my list if you remember something I forgot!

• Tough time to reflect on but first miscarriage June 1, 2006
• Second miscarriage July 27, 2006. Day before my birthday.
• Got back in touch with my sister Shannon and my brother Philip from Texas. First time in twenty years. WOW! November 2006
• Traveled to Wichita Falls, TX to meet my sister in law Marisa who was pregnant with my nephew Conrad Wilson at the time, also met my beautiful nieces Whitney, Yannah and Grace. This was my first opportunity to travel where they lived and see their homes and meet their families. What a way to start the new year! January 1, 2007
• We purchased our first home January 25, 2007
• Nephew Conrad Wilson Pennington was born April 3, 2007.
• Took a position in the Blair E. Batson Pediatric Operating Room in May 2007 - first time as a nurse I had ever had a position with a fairly normal schedule.
• I bought a 2003 Honda CRV July 2007 - a really big deal for me because I spent more than 3000 on a car, which I had never done before, and I also for the first time in my life bought exactly what I wanted.
• Went to Disneyland July 2007 - my first time to a Disney park ever, another really big event for me.
• Traveled to Los Angeles, Aneheim, and San Diego California July 2007 - another big deal, I had never been to the West Coast before.
• New addition to the family, Little Bit, our Pembroke Welsh Corgi came to live with us. November 2007
• Third miscarriage December 2007
• Mary Lewis (My Grandmother) passed away January 2008
• Jamie left Horne LLP after 7 years as an employee to go work for a small local company as a network engineer. During his time there he went from intern to help desk, help desk to senior help desk, senior help desk to network administrator. At the time he left he had been the longest standing network admin during the time he had been there at 2+ years. He also gained more certifications during those 7 years than any of his coworkers. (3 Dell certifications, 2 Microsoft certifications, 1 Cisco certification) July 2008.
• Discovered we were pregnant for the fourth time. August 2008
• James Alston Pepper (Jamie's Grandfather) passed away September 2008
• Jamie left the small local company to go work for Venture technology as a network engineer. Hallelujah!!! (during the time Jamie was working for the small local company he was in Monroe, LA about 90% of the time. Really tough during first trimester of our pregnancy. I was ecstatic when he got hired at Venture and got to move home.) September 2008
• Took a position in the Emergency Department at River Oaks Hospital October 2008
• Niece Rowen Helena Heacock was born October 2008
• We found out that we were having a little girl!!! October 16, 2008
• Returned to the Batson Operating Room as Pediatric ENT Coordinator March 2009 - after a brief stint in the ER at River Oaks (what some would call a leave of absence of my senses) I was thrilled to go back to pediatrics and the OR. Rough time transitioning during the third trimester of my pregnancy, but lots of lessons learned here.
• A miracle occurred. Lillian Claire Pepper was born April 8, 2009
• Celebrated our 5 year anniversary May 22, 2009. Lucky me to be married to my best friend.

So I've had a weird desire to start blogging again after all this time. It's rather disheartening to see that it's been three (yes I did say three) years since I've blogged. Guess I'm gonna have to really crack down. However considering I've still got 3 weeks of maternity leave left I'm thinking I'll have the opportunity to get back in the swing of things. So here's to starting over! Let the blogging begin!