Learnng to Trust

In my life I have been all over the board as far as my faith and my beliefs are concerned, but as I get older I find my faith solidifying to more of a solid tangible thing that I can grab on to and hold fast. I have become more comfortable in what I believe is true and real and I have accepted that different doesn't mean wrong, it's just different.

This past week has been a tough one for me because in many ways I've given all I can and am having to trust that since I've given all I've got that God will pick up and take it the rest of the way. It's funny to say that because a couple of years ago I don't know that I would have been able to say that I "trust" that God will take it the rest of the way but I was reminded again today of why my faith has grown to the point it has while I visited with my in laws. We were sitting on the couch talking about the "air issues" we've been having lately and as we were talking we reflected back on some of the things we went through when we were in college and just getting started as a couple. Jamie and I lived in family housing on campus during the first year of our marriage. When we moved into our apartment we had a couch, a bed, some pots and pans, and a tv from Jamie's dorm room. We lived in a 400 sq foot apartment and were both in school full time while working. I can remember working so hard to get through school and to pass boards and how excited we were in that little bitty apartment. Even then God watched out for us and guided us to the next step. Then when we returned to Jackson and started our lives here, from job to job, miscarriages, and other life hurdles somehow God has had his hand in there guiding us to where we need to be. As I sit and look at my family today and the love that is there between us, as I hold my daughter (our personal gift from God), as I talk to Jamie's mother (yet another gift brought back to our life), and as I cherish my parents in their new role as grandparents (the best nana and poppy in the world) I know that God will take care of the rest. I don't know how. We can' understand how he works. Somehow though, it will happen. Step by step, day by day I am learning to trust. Learning that though things may not go my way and certainly may not happen on my timeline, God is in control and in that I can rest.